Helloooo every one :)))))) i'm sooooooo happy cause i'm posting my first cold sands fanfic, a whole summer passed without me posting a thing but look at the bright side i posted it before the next summer :p
anyway, i hope you enjoy this
Stars of the cold night
When night falls every soul in the world sleeps excited for heading once again to dreamland except for the two connected and separated by love at the same time. Two people who found the night the perfect time to run from reality and dream awake, who found the stars the only company to express all of what they hid inside and all of what they couldn’t speak of to any being after dawn. They were the royal couple who were not meant to be and would never in this lifetime be.
Han Xin was taking a walk outside, just thinking. Clearing his mind from everything. The Empress Dowager, his people, the war, and most of all Murong Yu. Trying to forget that one day he will have to face him, not in a romantic room, not as a friend he met once before, but as an enemy on a battlefield, where the both of them clash swords and fight against each other until death announces the winner and the loser!
He must forget him, but, he can't.
Just the thought that he'd have to kill him with his own hands makes him feel a throbbing pain from both his chest and throat, and he can't help but pour down tears. Tears of sadness and longing, tears for the long lost lover.
If only he could meet him once more, he'd give everything just for one last night, he'd even give up his throne, not that he wanted it to begin with, all he wishes for is one last touch, just to feel that warmth again, to hear that voice again.
He'd longed for that securing embrace, that reassuring kiss, he longed for the love no one ever gave him before.
It's true as the saying goes: “you don't know what you have until it's gone”
He sighed then stared at the sky, after a while he began to count the stars: one, two, three.. repeated some twice or thrice, not caring for the time that rapidly flew by.
Wind blew through his long hair, sending it backwards and playing with it once to the left and once to the right.
He looked down to his right where his Xiao was lying. This little instrument once from a dear someone whom he labeled as a sister sharing neither blood nor flesh nor the same belly of a mother, but pure fraternal feelings bonded them at the most unfortunate circumstances. But she was never the first person the xiao reminded him of, it was a dearer person, the one he chose freedom over, the one who stole his heart. But because of his stupidity they can no longer be.
no he’s not regretting a thing. If he stayed he would have been caged, and now that he ran away, he’s once again caged!
It was freedom that he wished for, but who was he to ask for something like that?
Ever since his birth it was decided, freedom was not to be granted for this baby, prepare cells of iron because this baby is not to be freed. Ever since birth and until his soul is taken away life is only a prison!
No, this man is not regretting a thing, this man is not regretting a moment of his pitiful life, he’s not regretting any foolish decision he had ever made. Because in this stupid life, in this unfair life, in this miserable, helpless, wrenched life he found it.
He found it!
‘It’ exceeded the torture of unfreedom. ‘It’ was a whole other level. It is only four letters but the worst feeling a human being can taste in his entire existence, yet the best of them all!
Love is what he found, but he lost it immediately and now it’s only a source of trouble, it only adds pressure to the pressure he already had, but he still doesn’t regret a thing.
He held the xiao closer to his lips, then slowly blew his breath through, ran his fingers smoothly over those many holes.
Note by note, all his emotions rushed out at once in harmony creating a heart-melting music, even the wild night beasts howled together in unison expressing their sadness for hearing such tunes.
The melody lingered in the big beautiful garden, throughout the darkness of the night.
He stopped after who knows how long. He scanned his surroundings with a sigh then looked right back at the stars:
‘Please.. don’t let us meet again, not as enemies.. please’ was the wish his lips always sealed, just another thing to hide added to his wishful thoughts, just another dream that can never be fulfilled..
Far, but not so far away, to the displeasure of the night another soul was awake.
Sharing the same amount of pain, the same amount of torture walked the prince aimlessly, his head up high to the stars.
“Xin..” he whispered softly as his eyes revealed thousands of years’ worth of sorrow.
what kind of misfortune had befallen this man? and what else could it be but love.
but why was it that person love chose for him? Why was it him?
Murong finally stopped walking and sat on the grass still looking at the sky, observing the stars.
“Are you looking at them too?” he whispered once more.
Murong has dispatched men to search for him everywhere but whenever they came back it’s always the same reply: “we did not find anyone with that name”.
If this keeps going Xin would probably get killed in the middle of this mess.
‘But what if he already was?’ Murong always feared that, he shouldn’t have let him leave but what else could he have done?
Even though Murong knew very well that that prisoner was an enemy yet he was able to snatch his heart by force and then pretends to know nothing of it and gets himself nearly killed but at the end all he does is ride his horse and leave him there to suffer on his own!
“stubborn” Murong Yu laughed bitterly as a hot tear forced its way down his cheek: “please be alive till i come get you”
i hope you enjoyed it, it was originaly a dream i dreamt i even wrote the date down but i couldn't find it XD
however, the whole fic ended up not looking like the dream one bit because, well it was kind of pervy and well it included Han Xin and Murong Yu and i was actually Xin!!!
Don't tell Xiao please he'll definatly kill me and feeds my body to insects because he knows very well how much i hate insects!
And by the way, mom was actually in the room when woke up i hope i don't speak when i'm asleep cause that'd have turned out really bad !!